Is this in your future

Dave Barry's Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an
appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed
me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over
the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy
explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and
patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he
said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE
17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for
a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a
microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it
to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's
enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.
Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In
accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I
had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.
Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder
together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water
(For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.)
Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because
MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and
urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great
sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel
movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off
your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but:
Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep
experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the
commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the
bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you
figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of
MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the
future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my
wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried
about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of
MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you
apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and
totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a
room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little
curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital
garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on,
makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already
lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered
what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom,
so you
were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but
to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where
Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the
17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I
was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side,
and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my
hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was
'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that
could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be
the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I
said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a
decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell
you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking
'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine ...'

... and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very
mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt
excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all
over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been
prouder of an internal organ.

--Dave Barry


To add to this...Here are some things supposedly said to doctors during Colonoscopy's

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Now I know why I am not gay."


14. "Could you write me a note to my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

A day for remembering those who died

Number killed in attack on New York, in the Twin Towers and in aircraft that crashed into them: 2,823
Number of people who died when United Airlines flight 93,
from Newark, New Jersey, to San Francisco, California, crashed in rural southwest Pennsylvania: 45
Number of people who died when American Airlines flight 77,
from Washington to Los Angeles, crashed into the Pentagon: 64
Number of people killed in the Pentagon: 125

These people died simply because, we, as a nation do not practice bin Laden's version on Islam and live under "Shariah" law. (read the full context of bin Ladens "Letter to America" here http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/nov/24/theobserver)

The other end of the spectrum

The Tata "Nano" is the worlds cheapest production car.... built in India.....costs $2,500.... has a 35 hp, 2 cylinder, 623-cc. (38ci) rear engine, gets a estimated 50 mpg, seats 5 (?) with a top speed of 75 mph. The base model is just that... no radio, no power steering and only the drivers seat is adjustable. Air conditioning and power steering are available on the "Luxury" version.

Worlds current fastest production car

The Bugatti Veyron is currently the worlds fastest production car. With a top speed of 254 mph., goes from 0 to 60 in 2.5 sec., 0 to 100 in 5.5 and 0 to 250 in 50 sec. Will do a 1/4 mile in 10.2 sec at 143 mph. It's 64 valve W16, 8L (488ci) engine is rated at 1001hp, and gets 8mpg city and 13mpg highway (top speed fuel consumption is 3mpg). If you gotta have one, ya best think about a second job, they cost 1.4 million Euro or $1.96 million. Tires must be changed every 2,900 miles and must be done by Bugatti, at a cost of 13 thousand Euro or $18,200... the extended 2 year warranty cost 68 thousand Euro, or $95,000.

In comparison the Lamborghini Murcielago sells for @$315,000., is powered by a 641 hp V12. Does 0 to 60 in 3.3 sec., 0 to 100 in 7.9 and has a top speed of 220 mph.... what a difference a few bucks makes.

Things I've learned while observing my wife watching football

1. Women treat former favorite players that have gone to other teams like ex-boyfriends.
2. "Tight End" has a different meaning.
3. Even normally resevered and proper women can curse like sailors.

The Industrial Decalogue

1. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
2. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
3. You cannot help small men up by tearing down big men.
4. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
5. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
6. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
7. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
8. You cannot establish sound social security on borrowed money.
9. You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man’s initiative and independence.
10. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should
do for themselves.
– William J. H. Boetcker, (1873-1962)

These words where published in the early 1900's, but seem to strongly apply to today.

Highway Patrol announces new speeder control program

As a result of the number of cars capable of speeds faster than

150 MPH being sold today. The CHP has implemented a new enforcement

program called "Operation Intercept"

Armed with Laser Guided "Smart Bombs "we will be able to stop individual speeders with minimal collateral damage to the public" one ranking official said.

How much for a used race car

This 1957 Ferrari Test Rosa recently sold at auction for @ $12,400,000.00, the most valuable car in the world.... not by a long shot. An 1939 Auto Union (Audi) Grand Prix V12 (one of five known) is expected to auction for an estimated $13 Million in August. A 1954 Mercedes W-196 reportedly sold for $24,000,000. in the 1990's and a 1931 Bugatti Royal Type 41 (only six were built between 1929 -1933) reportedly sold in 1999 for $20,000,000, but what is considered to be the worlds most valuable car is a 1907 Rolls Royce Silver Ghost insured for $35,000,000.

For those who serve.

You stood shoulder to shoulder at Bunker Hill and Yorktown, followed Andrew Jackson to New Orleans, charged up San Jaun Hill with Teddy Roosevelt, flew in the skies of France with Eddie Rickenbacker and slept in the trenches with Sgt. Alvin York. You stormed the beaches at Guadalcanal, Sicily and Normandy, fought bravely at Antwerp, Iwo Jima, El Alamein, Monte Cassino and Midway. You left your mark on places named Heartbreak Ridge and Pork Chop HIll, then went to the Ia Drang Valley and Khe Sanh, Bosnia, Kabul, Kandahar, Al Busayyah and Fallujah. I don't know your name or much about you, but I thank you and all those that served with you.

If guys wrote advice columns

Dear Angelo,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was laid off six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Laura





Dear Laura,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,
Angelo

Wasted days and wasted nights

Ever sit down to watch a movie and 10 min. into it ,you realize that "it" is far less than a "B" movie but for what ever reason you just can't stop watching ?..... Late last night unable to sleep,(midnight) I sat down with my box of Whoppers...turned on the TV and surfed around looking for something interesting/entertaining to watch... I see a movie "Delta Force III".... I remember the Chuck Norris Delta Force movies... no Oscar winners for sure, but good action scenes... lots of "blow 'em up stuff".... passable plots..... Okay, I'll watch this one..... first thing... no Chuck Norris.... but I've watched other sequels that didn't have the original actors and they were okay, so I decided to watch it anyway..... 10 min. into this movie and I'm thinkin'... you have got to kidding, I've seen x-rated movies with better acting and editing.... but for some unknown reason I could not stop watching.... It'll get better..... nope....It became comical.... In one action scene a guy is shown shoving bombs out the door of a helicopter at the Delta Force guys who when seen from the chopper are "pinned down" directly below... but when the bombs go off seconds latter the Delta Force guys are a hundred yards away.... In a one on one fight scene the Delta Force guy is shown getting cut with a knife on his left cheek and blood running down his face and neck... 5 seconds latter as he is dispatching his foe... no cut..... In another scene later in the movie the token female is seen with disheveled hair, sweating and totally stressed trying to unlock a computer that keeps rejecting her codes... cut to the Delta Force guy trying to defuse the "bomb" for 30 seconds.... back to the token female, now with perfect hair and make up.... back to the guy defusing the bomb... back to the female, once again with the disheveled hair.
I wanted to get some paper and start keeping a running count of all the goofs and obvious oversights in this movie but I was having such a good laugh watching them I just couldn't break away.

An insensitive SOB?

Not to long ago My lovely wife switched manicurists. I got to listen to about an hour dissertation on just why... Like I cared.... Today she had a "nail appointment" after work. She returned home at about 6:00 pm and promptly showed how good of a job her new manicurist had done... gave me the short (10 min.) version fo why she switched... told me how many compliments she has received on her nails... how nice her new manicurist is.... how much they have in common.... Blah, blah, blah. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.... Dear, I'm as happy as a bear in a berry patch for you and your finding such a wonderful manicurist, but in as few words as possible... I Don't Care.
She gave me this look.... you guys know the look I'm talking about.... it's the one that says... "my friends are just not going to believe you just said that" and you know that they will all tell her "Marie, what did you expect... he's a guy and all guy's are insensitive SOB's".
I think of myself as a fairly nice guy, and I do not think any the less of my dear wife when I start talking about gear ratios, braking into and pulling out of a curve or spanking a rice burner and she says, cutting me short, "That's nice dear" which translates to, I don't care. I don't give her a devastating "look" or go whining to my friends so they can tell me that all women are psycho... no... It's okay... I understand... this is guy stuff, so I'll only talk about this kinda stuff with my buds. Now, is it to much to ask for the same consideration from her? Call your friends with your raves and rants about your nails... your hair... or that woman at work and just leave me out of it.

All I can say is WOW

Do you believe this day... first part of April and it hit 74 at my house on Pine Hill. Got a bit of work done in my yard... trimmed the bushes, they were starting to get unruly... it was just the perfect day to do it. Started with a T-shirt and a sweat shirt... did not take long for the sweat shirt to come off. I was thinking about a discussion I got into awhile back about how you know when your from Eureka and the best answer was when you go to the beach and don't even think of wearing a swim suit.... felt like you could've done it today. It is days like this, albeit, few and far between that make living here so nice and it makes me wonder if I appreciate them more because they are so rare.

Stunning logic

If slugs are "snails without shells" and a snails home is it's shell, then one must assume that slugs, in reality, are homeless snails!!

Ya try to be a nice guy......

Today... checking my email, two letters from Suddenlink (my Internet and cable provider) show up. So I open the first and just kinda scan it to see what it's all about.... what the.... I have an appointment to have services added?? Something ain't right here, I already have some of those services and didn't order any new ones.... I read it again, paying more attention... wait a minute... that's not my name!! They (Suddenlink) have sent me an appointment confirmation for someone else... some guy named David so and so in blah blah North Carolina... this is weird. Curious, I open the other email from Suddenlink.... another appointment confirmation for the same guy... different services.... I start hearing the theme song from The Twilight Zone... totally weird now. In the email it states that if no adult is home they will not hook up the services and He, this David guy, will have to call and make another appointment date. Now.... being the nice guy that I am... I think... that poor guy is gonna miss the appointment and not know why... so I call Suddenlink to tell them about the mix up.... Here's where things go horribly wrong!
After negotiating the press one for this service, enter your 7 digit phone #, I get to listen to that "catchy" little Suddenlink ditty while I'm on hold.... not that bad... yet. Finally a human comes on the phone... I explain the deal about the emails, then she asks me "Is this a business account?.... Nope.... "well it's listed as one".... well it's not..... "I'll transfer you to the department that can fix that for you"..... back on hold... more of the little ditty, over and over and over... 5 MINUTES I have to listen to that stupid song... finally, another human..... I explain why I originally called (the emails) and why I was transferred to his department (the listed type of account)... "I can't do anything about the emails, but I can fix the account listing".... several questions and some intense typing on his part (I could hear the keyboard) and "Okay, that's all taken care of. Is there anything else?".... Ya... the email thing.... "I can't do anything about that, I'll transfer you to someone who can"..... back on hold..... more of that God Awful Song..... after about three more minutes of "IT".... another human.... "how can I help you today".... You can tell me how to get that damn song out of my head!..... "excuse me"..... never mind... I explain about the emails... "I"ll check it out".... "I see what happened, some one addressed the emails wrong" ..(duh).... Did Mr. so and so get emails that were supposed to come to me?.... "hold on, I'll check".... BACK on hold and more of that song, after an agonizing three minutes ... "Mr. Romick, there were no emails to be sent to you"..... Okay.. good... what about Mr. sos and so's appointment information... he might want that.... " We'll take care of that Mr. Romick, thanks for your concern".... end of phone call.
A short time later while watching TV... what comes on.... a Suddenlink commercial.... and that song...... I hate that song now.... and all because I tried to be a nice guy!

Resistence is futile !

Not working I don't get to drive the Mustang as often as I was when working. Thinking that It needed to be driven before it began feeling neglected I took it out for a little "carbon cleaning" and "corner carving". My usual routes for this are a quick run up 101 to Orick, or a little jaunt up to Willow Creek and once in awhile a run south to Myers Flat or so. Each has it's uniqueness. 101 north to Orick has long open stretches with short sections of some really tight curves, south to Myers Flat is mostly long sweeping curves good for really "opening it up". The run up to willow creek is more curve intensive, some long hard curves coupled with sections of almost shacane sections. This time I chose south... felt like just really blowing the carbon out. The run down was pretty good, not much traffic and no CHP for the most part. Just an enjoyable little drive. Coming home started the same. I was just "grovin" on driving and not paying real close attention to my rear... I know what your thinking.... no, it wasn't the CHP. What snuck up on my was one of those little modified rice burners. I probably would have been just fine if he had kept on going and zipped on ahead. Nope.... he got along side and did the revving thing... he had challenged me, and I had to decide if he was worth the chance of a ticket or not.... then as I glanced over, the little twerp sneered at me with contempt..... Clutch in.... gas to the floor... shift from fifth to third in the blink of an eye... dump the clutch and the Mustang literally jumped as it took off and began to wind up. I'm not sure what this kid was expecting me to do... but after a second or two it was obvious he didn't expect that. I could see him accelerate but it was way to late by then... the v8 had reached it's stride... up into fourth....and by the time I was ready for fifth the Honda was becoming a speck. I went on for about another two miles and backed off...
It wasn't for about another five minutes and here he comes again... Did he just pass me by and go his merry way.... nope.... pulls along side and does the revving thing again. and he looks mad. I learned years ago that if you time it right and wait till they let up when they do the revving thing and then hit it you'll always have an edge.... wait.... clutch in.... gas to the floor.... grab third.... dump the clutch.... same result. I think he just didn't have the top end to stay with or catch the Mustang.... like before... after a short while I backed off again as I approached Rio Dell. Here he comes again... Me, I'm thinkin', I've already shut his guy down twice... I don't have to prove it a third.... but this time he doesn't pull along side, he goes on just a flying by, and his buddy "flips me off" as the go by. Made me chuckle... proceeding on home past Fortuna... up Lolita hill and then the flat before CR.... about half way through the flat is a CHP with this little Honda pulled over... had to chuckle again and tried, really tried, but could not resist... I honked and waved as I went by.

Time to do something I haven't done in over 30 years

Looks like the "Mill" isn't going to start back up any time soon (see article below)
So I'm gonna have to look for employment elsewhere.... I havent' had to look for/apply for a job in 32 years. This will be an experience.... Wish me luck!



Pulp mill start-up aims dim
John Driscoll and Thadeus Greenson /The Times-Standard
Posted: 03/14/2009 01:28:50 AM PDT

The Samoa pulp mill -- at least in its current state -- will not run again anytime in the near future.
Owner Freshwater Pulp said that it now believes that there are not enough wood chips, from which the mill makes pulp, available in the region to supply the plant. That's due to protracted poor market conditions for lumber and widespread sawmill curtailments.
”I've always said that by May 1 we would know whether there is an adequate chip supply,” said Freshwater Pulp's Bob Simpson. “Well, what I'm telling you today is we know there's not an adequate supply.”
Unless the lumber markets unexpectedly rebound and sawmills begin operating at high levels in 2009 or 2010, it's unlikely the mill will start up again, he said. In that case, Simpson said, the company would pursue plans to convert the facility to a pulp and fine-paper mill, which would produce toilet and tissue paper. But Simpson said that conversion would take two years and $400 million.
Still, Simpson insisted the facility would not die.
”We look at it much differently,” Simpson said. “We look at it as not a case of if the pulp mill will run again -- it's a case of when.”
Samoa Acquisition Corp. bought the mill from Evergreen Pulp in early February after the plant was shut down on Oct. 15. That put some 215 employees out of work. Samoa Acquisition, renamed later Freshwater Pulp, at the time expected to fire up the mill within 90 to
180 days. But Friday Simpson said a chip supply was uncertain.
Simpson said that Freshwater Pulp's payment of a $51,000 bill Evergreen owed to the North Coast Unified Air Quality Management District is evidence that it is committed to eventually restarting the operation.
Recently, workers have been heeding the recommendation of their union, the Association of Western Pulp and Paper Workers Local 49, to look for other work and take advantage of retraining. Some of those workers may have missed a deadline to state their interest in retraining, said Local 49 President Tom Reilly.
”They're realizing it's not going to restart, or that the hopes of it restarting are slim,” Reilly said.
Reilly questioned the feasibility of Simpson's plan to convert the facility to a pulp-and-paper plant, especially given the $400 million in financing Simpson is seeking. As for Reilly, he said he's been looking for work out of the area.
The mill would face other battles even if it had a reliable chip supply. It needs to negotiate another contract for water with the Humboldt Bay Municipal Water District and a permit for its effluent -- pumped into the ocean -- with the North Coast Regional Water Quality Control Board, which would include discussions with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.
The effects of eliminating the mill's contribution to the water district's costs would likely increase regional wholesale water costs 22 to 25 percent, as laid out in the district's Thursday meeting. That cost would be passed on to ratepayers. The district has been planning for a future without the mill.
Freshwater Pulp intends to plug its effluent line into the ocean while it works on plans to convert to a pulp-and-paper operation. Simpson said that Freshwater and neighboring DG Fairhaven Power are working on a valve system that will allow the power plant to get rid of its own waste water, which flows through the mill's effluent line.
One of the most immediate effects will undoubtedly be on the local economy with the possible elimination of many well-paying jobs at the mill. The aged workforce earned substantially more than the average for Humboldt County. Now many are looking for work elsewhere, including at another mill in Everett, Wash., said employee Richard Marks.
”I'm really disturbed for my fellow workers, and I've talked to enough of them who are not going to return,” Marks said. “I think we're going to lose a lot of people from the area.”

Stranger things have happened !

Being "unemployed" I seem to have what some people call... to much free time, but I have taken it as an opportunity. Take yesterday as an example. Sitting at my computer around 10 am, I hear an odd noise... sort of a cross between an un-tuned VW and a Semi's jake brake. Leaping from my chair, I go to the sliding glass door in the family-room and behold a UFO landing in the pasture next door. Now I don't know if it was curiosity or fear but I could not move, I was transfixed! All these thoughts raced through my head... they're going to abduct me and do all kinds of wierd experiments..... It's an invasion ala War of the Worlds.... or they want to give us, the human race, unlimited energy technology in exchange for a glass of water. As I stood there, transfixed, three figures emerged from the craft, looked about and then one of them spotted me and pointed. Oh My God... I'm gonna die, I thought. The three beings then seemingly floated towards me... as they neared I was overwhelmed with a strange, pungent odor... it was the stench of .....petuli oil.... and then I noticed... these "beings" have dreadlocks. Turns out, these "aliens" were just some lost, wayward intergalactic Rastafarians looking for Garberville., and some spare change to buy some Di lithium crystals. So I told them to go south, following US 101 and gave them some Crystal Lite, (it was the only crystals I had in the house) and sent them on there merry way. I was able to snap this pic as they flew off.

And the answer is.....

Yvonne DeCarlo aka Lily Munster

Guess Who?

This sultry movie star of the 30's and 40's later went on to star in a 60's sit-com. Anyone know who she is? and what was the sit-com?

It was a dark and stormy night!!

Does anybody remember in the Peanuts cartoon, the running theme with Snoopy as the novelist with chronic writers block? He would sit down in front of his typewriter to write the next great novel and could always only get as far as the first line "It was a dark and stormy night". Well I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't writers block at all.... I think he lived in Eureka and dark stormy nights were all that he knew.

Have you heard....

About the cotton mill that had to close because the market was soft.... or the balloon factory that closed because it couldn't keep up with inflation...... the safe manufacturing plant that that couldn't get a loan because all the money was locked up..... and the boat builder that closed because he couldn't float a loan..... the goose down supplier that went bankrupt cause the market had flown south..... the laundry that was all washed up.... the tire store whose business had gone flat.... the coffee shop that closed because the owner didn't see the problem brewing...... the window shade plant that got blind sided...... the flower shop whose business had wilted.... the electrical contractor that got caught short..... the wheelchair factory that no longer had a leg to stand on.... the bicycle shop that could no longer peddle their wares.... the whole point..... even when times are tough, ya gotta keep your sense of humor!

It's Official

People have told me for years I was Certifiable

Emergency, Emergency !!

Yesterday, early, I get a phone call from my dear wife... she has fallen at work and has a "HUGE" knot on her right shin. Her fellow co-workers are urging her to go to the Emergency Room. I ask a few basic questions.... Can you walk on it?....yes, Can you move your foot without massive pain?....yes, Can your wiggle your toes?....yes, Can you feel it when someone touches your foot?.... yes, (I've had a little experience with broken bones). Now I don't think it's broken, just badly bruised, but she insists... so of to the ER we go. Three hours, one x-ray and one tetenus shot (I was against the shot... thinking maybe lock jaw might not be a bad thing) later, we find...it's a bad bruise... your fine.... for this I missed breakfast. Am I wrong to play the victim here?

Now, that, was a Superbowl!

Not having a real vested intrest in who won or lost, I was able to view this game from a unique position. My thinking before the game was that I'd like to see the Cardinals win simply because they had not won a Superbowl yet, but really was indiffernt as to who won. The fact that this game ended the way it did made this not just one of the best Superbowls I've ever seen, but one of the best footba;; games I've ever watched. During the third quarter, It looked as if the Cardinals were struggling and the game would go to the Steelers... then Mr. Warner came alive and the next thing you know the Cardinals had the lead... the in the final seconds the Steelers pulled it out. Great game...The Cardinals should not hang their heads walking away from this game... My thanks to both teams for making it the game it was.

Obituary

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

Tenacity is not always a good thing

While in Florida both Marie and I got sinus related infections... Marie had a sinus/cold related eye infection and I an ear infection. We saw a doctor in Florida and both received antibiotics for treatment.... that was two weeks ago. Monday the infections had not cleared up and in Marie's case had even gotten worse... so we went back to the doctor here in Eureka.... Well My infection had turned to Bronchitis and Marie's eye infection had not cleared up... so we are both back on antibiotics and I have an temporary inhaler now.

I'm back

Returned from Florida... the circumstances were not the best, Ed passing and all so there was a defining sad tone to the visit, but we got to spend some quality time with relatives that I had not yet met. There was Joany and John (Ed's daughter and her husband), Marries aunt Carol and uncle Jack.... and got to spend several days with Jay (marie's' brother) and his wife Joan, and of course with Elsie, Marie's Mom.
We all got sick.... Jay had a bug he spread to the whole famn damily... Jay ended up with an ear infection, upper respiratory infection and conjunctivitis.... Elsie has an upper respiratory infection.... Marie has Conjunctivitis.... I ended up with an ear infection and upper respiratory infection.... Ron and Ellen both of them have respiratory infections so we're all ...ALL..on antibiotics.
Another thing.... Florida is FLAT.... I find it fundamentally un-nerving when the highest point of land around is a freeway overpass.

On a sad note

Marie's step-dad, Ed, passed away yesterday.
We will be traveling to Florida to attend the funeral this week.
Elsie, Marie's mom, is doing okay but please put her and the rest of the family in your prayers.

Twins born on differnt days, in different months and different years ?

How?.... you ask.
First one born on Dec. 31, 2008 at 11:51 pm, the second born 26 min. later... Jan. 1, 2009 at 12:17 am.. Differnt days, months and year... there's one for the books.

She's Back

Kathy has returned!

Yup... Back from her adventure in France.

Welcome home !!